7 Tips for Managing Conflict

25 July 2022

Make sure that you read our piece on “The Ego Monster” inside of us all to get the most out of these practical tips below. Don’t stress out if you don’t master them right away! It’s not easy. Training ourselves to manage these challenging situations better, developing our EQ is a lifetime’s work. Be patient and enjoy the ride.

    Public Speaking

    1. Breathe.

    I know, we mention this a lot. We don’t do it enough. It’s a powerful remedy. The benefits are huge and far-reaching. Breathing gets more oxygen to the brain and gives us a greater sense of time and space.


    2. Slow down.

    When our emotions take over, our tempo tends to pick up. It’s harder to maintain control at the wheel. Remember, you’re always at the wheel.


    3. Listen to and understand your Ego Monster.

    Don’t hate or judge. Remember, it’s part of you. It’s part of what makes us human. Being in “Adult” state doesn’t mean that you stop feeling altogether. That would be odd. It just means that you’re not hijacked by your emotions which then drive your behaviour. This is dangerous a little like drunk driving. Stay sober at the wheel!


    4. Detach from it.

    You’re the boss. CEO of you. Though it may not feel like it, you’re always in control. Take a look at Dam Hass’s words at the bottom of this piece. I find them particularly insightful. “It wants control and is sustained by power because it lives in fear.”


    5. Try to understand their Ego Monster.

    It might not be all that different from your own.


    6. Mediate between the two.

    It’s almost like an outer body experience as you referee.


    7. Find a solution that genuinely suits you both.

    Keeping an eye on this at all times will make it easier not to get consumed with the short term greed of your ego.

    Remember, every conflict situation presents an opportunity to practice, learn, grow and strengthen “The Best You.”

    Good luck. We’d love to hear back about your experiences so get in contact.

    From our clients



    The Speakers’ Gym is like the iPhone. You don’t realise you need it until you have it, and then you can’t live without it.

    Magda Gonzalez, Group CFO, Monex Europe



    It was completely practical and the open-forum feedback was so valuable. You created a safe environment for everyone to learn. Thank you!

    Nicola Koronka, Co-Founder and Managing Partner, Missive



    I was recommended by a friend who works in the same sector to contact The Speakers’ Gym to help me with my presentation delivery skills and I have not been disappointed with the results. Chris and Jonny work with you to provide bespoke training for your goals and needs. They are highly professional and make you feel at ease from the first minute the first session begins. I would highly recommend them to those who have a role which involves public speaking!

    Julia Peake,Technical Development Manager, Sanlam



    It has challenged both my thinking and approach and I will be sure to keep The Speakers’ Gym ‘fireworks’ readily available on my desk to refer to when not only presenting but also when needed through everyday management.

    Liz Paradine – Chief Operations Manager - 7iM


    Transact first engaged with The Speaker Gym late in 2018 where Chris & Jonny made a concerted effort to get under the skin of our business and understand how they could best help us hone our presentational and empathetic skills. The resulting sessions were hugely helpful giving my team plenty of opportunity to practice and also benefit from a great deal of feedback, not just from Chris & Jonny but by including the rest of the Transact team in the feedback and group learning too. I would highly recommend The Speakers Gym

    Glen Sweet, Head of Sales, Transact

    Transact London


    Working with The Speakers’ Gym has been fantastic. We knew what we wanted to say and who we wanted to speak to, so all we needed was technique. Or so we thought. Chris and Jonny helped us to understand the key elements of communication, through a structured process. We now think about communication in a completely different way. There’s a line they gave us that now resonates in my head, every time I write or talk to someone about what we do. We feel we’ve met two great guys and they’ve become an important part of us, our story and how we tell it to others.

    Thomas Skinner, Founder, Barnaby Cecil Financial Planning

    Barnaby Cecil Financial Planning


    The impact of The Speakers’ Gym™ at Mako can only be described as transformational. Over a three month period, they helped transition a group of individuals into a highly collaborative and consultative leadership team. Chris and Jonny have a unique ability to connect individuals with their true purpose, driving them towards self-reflection and ultimately growth. Overall the entire experience of working with them has been a pleasure and I am deeply grateful for their impact. They more than surpassed my expectations and I look forward to working with them again in the future!

    Trystan Morgan-Schauer, CEO, Mako



    We engaged The Speakers’ Gym to provide us with clarity and direction in the look, feel and messaging of the Worldmaker brand in preparation for our official launch. From start to finish, the process has been truly collaborative. They worked with the expertise and experience in our team to create branding that truly represents who we are and what we represent, whilst moving us into a more modern, expressive space – which was our desire. We know that we’re in great hands with The Speakers’ Gym. We’ll certainly be continuing to work with them

    Mollie Marti, CEO, Worldmaker International

    Worldmaker International


    They first took the time to understand our brief and delivered the programme incorporating our culture and brand throughout. They were thought provoking and their unique techniques very well received.

    Mairi Cameron, Learning Manager, Nucleus Financial



    The Speakers’ Gym gave me the skills and confidence to be my normal self whilst speaking and facilitating. They took the anxiety out of public speaking and gave me practical tools to prepare for and manage public engagements. They also helped me to engage more meaningfully with my clients, for which I am thankful. Highly recommend them.

    Matthew Marais, Director, Vertus Capital

    Vertus Capital


    I found the sessions to be a revelation, and I wish I had known some of the techniques sooner. It has completely changed my mindset and focused me in on the needs of the audience. With that, the ability to achieve those aspirations has come more naturally. There is always room for improvement, and I will definitely be revisiting The Speakers’ Gym for a refresher from time to time.

    Kelly Devlin, Wealth Management Consultant - St. James’s Place Wealth Management

    St. James's Place Wealth Management
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